in theGallery

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Coupe

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Rings of Glass

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November

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Tigger II

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Topics

Network News

the Apevine

Very Ape

Bananas

Monkie Business

November 13, 2001

Mac OSX Update - The most recent update for Mac OSX - 10.1.1 - is now available through the Software Update control panel. Get it while it's hot!

Oooops! - We're not quite sure how the Cat wound up in the blender, but something certainly went haywire and made a mess at the Monkie Mother Ship! It will take a bit of time to put the nest back in order, but we will still be updating MacMonkies. Updates may be a bit sporadic the next few days, so please bear with us!

Sites for Sore Eyes! - The White Fire site has been updated with three hot new desktop pictures by Andy Moraitis. It appears that Donnie has been sprucin' the place up a bit as well, so check 'em out!

Mikawares is also doing some home improvement - there is some site restructuring, plus a few new graphics and minor fixes. Mikawares also announces the arrival of ICQ CSM 1.0 as well as a new version of Appearance CSM. Check 'em Out!

November 7, 2001

 

Monkie News!

Holy Toledo Cow! Have the Bananas ever been flyin' at MacMonkies!

To all of our guests, we tip our hats to you!!

• And the Drum Role Please! And the the winner of the Final Phase of the Monkie Madness Giveaway.

Mr. Kevin Windham
of
Richardson Texas

CONGRATULATIONS!

Kevin has won a brand new Mustek Scanner!

We would like to thank everyone who participated! Hats of to YA!

 

• Recommended Software - New in our Recommended Software Dept. is Michele Bugliaro's of Appearance CSM. Check it out!

 

• Gobs of GUI! - New in the Gallery we have four new creations for your desktop!

First up, we have Rings of Glass - another awesome 3-D rendering from Kara Kelly!

Next off, we have two more 3-D works from MacMonkies: Coupe and November.

And last, but surely not least, we have another addition to ETC, our newest section - Tigger II

 

• Links! - New to our Links Page is X Themination - the official development site for the MacOS X themes project! Hurry over and check out their awesome themes for OSX!

 

 

Wedding Bells! - All of us at MacMonkies would like to send out our most sincere Congratulations to our good friend Dan Flax! Dan will be taking the "plunge" this weekend by tying up the ole matrimonial knot! Dan is the creator of Flax Creations and desktop editor of ResExcellence. MacMonkies and the entire Mac community wish you the best! CHEERS!

HappiCon! - Rene of Happicon has a fine new set of icons entitled "CrazyOnes." Hurry over and get your copy while they're hot off the press! And while you're there, be sure to make set http://homepage.mac.com/littlestar as your permanent book mark for Happicon. Whatcha waitin' for? Make your Mac Happy at Happicon!

Looking Good! - Michele Bugliaro of Mikawares has added to an "Applications" section to his site with his Appearance CSM the first on his list of software. Easily access your Appearance Control panel with this fine piece of software.

Now You See it, Now you Don't! - The newest version of iTunes released by Apple was quickly pulled from circulation due to a very unhealthy appetite. iTunes 2 had a bug which was erasing some people's hard drives. On Saturday, Apple released iTunes 2.0.1 which corrected the bug. There is also an alert posted on the download page of the iTunes 2.0 version, but no word as to whether or not data recovery will be possible.

Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones - The trailer for newest installment of the Star Wars series - Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones - has been released by Apple and Lucasfilm. This trailer is being shown exclusively in theaters with the movie Monsters, Inc. However, it can also be viewed for free at Apple's Quicktime trailer website. The trailer opened November 2, is 60 seconds long, and is available for viewing in three different versions.

Out the Window - Windows XP is not faring as well as may be expected. The new OS from Microsoft had twice as many preorders than Windows '98 but has sold less copies than Windows 98 did by 20 to 25 percent. Microsoft has no comment on the lack of sales. The product was released on October 25 and sells for $99 to upgrade to the home version or $199 for the complete package. Altogether, $1 billion will be spent on advertising Windows XP. The sales are running better than those of Windows Me. - from ZDNet

Up A Tree! - Recently a Polish man was found up in a tree, jumping from branch to branch and throwing bananas out of a shopping bag at the people on the ground. Two fire brigade units were called out to rescue him, and a police psychologist was called out to talk him down. After two hours, the man finally climbed down. And why was he up in the tree to begin with? He climbed up the tree to get away from an angry taxi driver because he tried to evade the taxi fare. Well, now he will be getting a bill from the fire brigade in the amount of $4,300 to cover the expenses of his rescue - a bit more bananas than was the taxi fare! Now that's what I call a Bunch of Monkey Business! - from Excite

From Paul to You - Singer Paul McCartney has released his second single to benefit the New York firefighters, police officers and families of the victims. The title of the single is "Freedom" and it was released due to popular public demand. McCartney and his fiance were sitting on a grounded plane that had been set to leave New York when the planes hit the twin towers. Says McCartney, "Out of the window of the plane I could see the towers smoking and in flames -- like everybody, I couldn't believe what was happening. I stayed in New York for a week after the attack and I was able to witness the tremendous heroism that has come out of the city, including the bravery of the firefighters and police officers." McCartney's father was a volunteer firefighter in World War 2. His first single released to benefit those most closely affected by the tragedy was titled "From a Lover to a Friend." - from Yahoo

Apple Groves - Apple has certainly been seeding its share of retail stores in the market these days. A new store has been planted every week since Apple started planting their new business strategy. Recently open are stores in Cincinnati, OH and Woodcliff Lake, NJ. Soon to open are stores in Newport Beach, CA and Littleton, CO. With all the Apple activity, one would wonder how to keep track of the nearest Apple event of interest. Well, if you want to take a trip to visit an Apple Store nearest you, there is a better way! Simply go to the Apple Store Locator, type in your zip code, and you will be well on your way to digging out the map and planning that road trip. The Apple Store Locator will find the Apple Store that is nearest to you. Cool Bananas...er, Apples!

Jaw Breaker! - A Sri Lankan farmer attempted a world record in Colombo by pulling a 40-ton railway carriage more than 25 meters -- with his teeth. Gamini Wasantha Kumara succeeded in accomplishing his task, however, he has to wait for the Guinness Book his newly set record to accept it before it becomes official. In addition to this jaw breaking feat, he also holds two other records in the book: one for train-pulling with his teeth (more than 80 feet in 15 minutes), and one for having 50-pound blocks of ice dropped on his stomach. Next he wants to pull a 270-ton ship. In the end, he also used his teeth to give a nice big grin. - from Excite

A Thow of the Dice - A British aquarium was recently housing a stressed-out spotted fish. It was releasing so much of it's own venom out of anxiety that the staff on hand feared the fish would poison itself. The spotted fish was still only the size of a pea, so the staff decided to put playing dice in the aquarium with the fish to keep it company. The fish is doing much better. It probably views the dice as a potential mate or a even a parent. - from Excite

Illegal Aliens - New Zealand is having a bit of a problem with a "special" type of alien entering their country. The alien was brought in through a box of grapes imported to them from California. The alien has become quite the concern. Why? Because it is poisonous. New Zealand has found a live Black Widow spider in a shipment of grapes and has suspended imports of Californian table grapes because of the dangers that the spider could cause to the environment. This is the fourth black widow they have found in their shipments and it is becoming a matter of public concern. Existing regulations only allow for one live spider to be found per every one million grape bunches. The spiders have begun to wear out their welcome. - from Excite

 

Have you Heard?

G5 at 2.4 Ghz? - More 'buzz" on Apple's up-and-coming G5 chip has previously mentioned bugs being fixed and speeds running from 1 Ghz on up to 2.4 Ghz! Apple has apparently sent a good number of the G5 prototypes out to developers. One source reported an upcoming version of Virtual PC achieving 1 Ghz performance on a G5 running at 1.4Ghz! How 'bout them Apples?!

Crazy From the Heat! - As you may have concluded from previous editions of MacMonkies, the Main Monkie Dude can be exceptionally evasive at best when it comes to upcoming Monkie Events. However, a bit of info may have been squeezed from the Banana peel something along the lines of even more "madness" may be around the corner? Stay tuned!

Have some inside information on upcoming events? Review our Submission Policy and drop us a line!

 

Check 'em Out!

Get the Led Out!! - Tired of the same ole song and dance? The sweet tooth a bit decayed from too much Bubble Gum Pop Rock? How about some good old fashioned classic Rock 'n' Roll?!! From Aerosmith to ZZ Top, The Beatles to Van Halen, or the Rolling Stones to The Who -- There is certainly a place for all of you Rock 'n' Roll web heads!

Just Plain Nutz!

ACTUAL DOCTORS' COMMENTS

The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993.
 
The patient refused an autopsy.

On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely.

She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

The patient has no past history of suicides. 

She is numb from her toes down.

Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities.

Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.

Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. 

She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states
  she was very hot in bed last night. 

While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home. 

The skin was moist and dry. 

Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead." 

Skin: Somewhat pale but present.

Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Smith, who felt we should sit on the abdomen, and I agree." 

Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

Discharge status: Alive but without permission. 

 

TEN THINGS MEN KNOW ABOUT WOMEN:

1._____ 2._____ 3._____ 4._____ 5._____

6._____ 7._____ 8._____9 ._____10._____

 

JUST ONCE

Sometimes you will cry
and no one will see your tears...

Sometimes you will laugh
and no one will see you smile...

Sometimes you will fear
and no one will see you shudder...

Sometimes you will lie
and no one will catch you up...

Sometimes you will fall
and no one will see you struggle...

Sometimes you will be late
and no one seems to notice...

But fart just one time... 

 

PC HELP DESK! (Part II)

Disk drives are another bugaboo. One customer was having trouble reading word-processing files from his old diskettes. After troubleshooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, Mr. Sullivan asked what else was being done with the diskette. The customer's response: "I put a label on the diskette, roll it into the typewriter..."

At AST, another customer dutifully complied with a technician's request that she send in a copy of a defective floppy disk. A letter from the customer arrived a few days later, along with a Xerox copy of the floppy.

At Dell, a technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and "close the door." Asking the technician to "hold on," the customer put the phone down and was heard walking over to shut the door to his room.

The software inside the computer can be equally befuddling. A Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.

Another customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it, he said, filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking his keyboard for a day, and then removing all the keys and washing them individually.

 

Have a good line or two that would put a smile on an Ape Face? Check out MacMonkies' Submission Policy and drop us a line!

Odds and Ends

GOVERNMENT QUOTES

There is nothing more terrifying than ignorance in action.
-GOETHE

When the government fears the people there is liberty, when the people fear the government there is tyranny.
-UNKNOWN

Less government, more responsibility, and with God's help - a better world.
-ROBERT WELSH

Government is not reason, it is not eloquence; it is force! Like fire it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master.
-GEORGE WASHINGTON

The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.
-EDMUND BURKE

It is error alone which needs the support of government. Truth can stand alone.
-THOMAS JEFFERSON

I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. What I can do, I should do, and with the help of God, I will do!
-EVERETT HALE

The people are the masters of both congress and courts, not to overthrow the constitution, but to overthrow the men who pervert it!
-ABE LINCOLN

Those people who are not governed by God will be ruled by tyrants.
-WILLIAM PENN

They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.
-BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

To sin by silence when they should protest, makes cowards of men.
-ABE LINCOLN

Single acts of tyranny may be ascribed to the accidental opinion of a day; but a series of oppressions, begun at a distinguished period, and pursued unalterably through every change of ministers, too plainly proves a deliberate, systematic plan of reducing us to slavery.
-THOMAS JEFFERSON

 

JUST ANOTHER DAY!

England's King George III kept a diary. In it, for July 4,1776, he noted, "Nothing of importance happened today." I guess he neglected to get his email that day.

 

 

 

 

 

the Bottom Line (What more did you expect?! )

An unemployed villager who looks like Saudi-born
militant Osama bin Laden was ordered out of an Indian town after he started to draw crowds. Eeeeew! I'd rather look like a monkey's BUTT!

Allows others to see a snapshot of your screen in their browser

Runs screensaver modules in regular windows

MP3 player, encoder & burner

Instant messenger client for AIM, ICQ, MSN, Jabber, & Yahoo

Lean, popular alternative Web browser

Eyes that watch the cursor from the desktop or menu bar

GUI interface to OS X's locate database

Uses empty menu bar space to list & switch/launch apps

Chess game for online or network multi-user play

Browser plugin views shockwave media

Google's image search engine management tool

Gnutella peer-to-peer file sharing client

3rd party AIM client

Advanced font catalog & inspection utility

Fast and simple hierarchical file navigation and launcher

Batch email for AOL, Entourage, Eudora, Mailsmith, OE & more

Client/server similar to Hotline with more features

Builds group of icons from a picture to make folder backgrounds

Audio player/encoder for CDs, MP3 & streaming net audio

Encrypted multi-user Internet telephone

Disk cataloging with a Finder like interface & many features

Photoshop plugin exports data as OS X icons

Helps manage multiple iDisk accounts

November virus definitions for both Norton & Virex are available for download.

File browser with integrated file operation utilities